hagiography
What,exactly, is a hagiography? Why does ginger coons need one? Being a slightly less than rugged individualist, she feels the need to distinguish herself from the rest of the class by having something other than a biography. She also considers it to be slightly tongue in cheek to write glowing praise about herself. In slightly more literal terms, while ginger coons has not been canonized by any major religions (yet), she is the founder of Sectarian Lunch Supremacy, a religion (similar in tone to Pastafarianism) devoted to and based on the works of Douglas Adams. When considered together, these reasons seem good enough to merit the following hagiography.
ginger coons brought glory and joy to the world twenty years ago by deigning to be born. This was merely the first of her myriad accomplishments. Her first aspiration, more humble than those that followed, was to be a horticulturalist. The indomitable ms. coons studied the subject intensely at an early age by becoming familiar with dirt, the taste of dirt, and the properties of dirt.
She eventually grew out of the horticulture phase, moving on, at age seven, to the study of vector graphics and programming. Early accomplishments included manipulating nodes in Corel Draw 3.0 to turn a horse into a unicorn, and programming a winking cat in QBasic.
Age ten saw the design of personal flying machines and luxury tree forts. These were halcyon days for creativity and ambition.
The interest in design waned slightly between the ages of twelve and fifteen, with ginger's focus turning towards writing. During this period, the miraculous ms. coons won an award for creative writing, and had numerous poems published. Towards the end of this transitional period, ms. coons discovered activism, of both the human and animal rights varieties. The years between fourteen and sixteen also saw a rash of self publishing in the form of extremely analogue zines and pamphlets.
The design bug came back with a vengeance towards the end of high school. Against all odds, with unsympathetic teachers setting traps at every step, our heroine took nearly every design-technology related class her school offered.
Tragically, ginger coons, at the age of sixteen, had never taken a formal art class beyond the grade eight level. Realizing that she would need a portfolio in order to get into design school, ginger coons applied and was accepted to gallery school at the Art Gallery of Ontario, in Toronto.
Gallery school caused a whole raft of new issues. ginger was forced to cope with pretentious students from the Etobicoke School of the Arts, a weekly commute, and instructors actually trying to teach her how to draw and paint.
However, gallery school also led to some drastic changes in ms. coons' media choices. It was at gallery school that she was introduced to low-tech silkscreening techniques, which she still uses to this day. Gallery school was also the catalyst for her extensive work in chicken wire.
By random chance, ms. coons met representatives from Concordia at a National Portfolio Day event. At the time, ms. coons had been entertaining notions of going to NSCAD. She changed her mind the day she learned about Design at Concordia, which happened to be the same day she found out that the people at NSCAD were far too serious, art-y, and generally unpleasant.
So it was, that at the tender age of eighteen, ginger coons moved from her native Guelph to Montreal.
Now in third year, ginger coons continues to be supremely amazing, wowing all who encounter her.
Addendum: Despite all the posturing and lyricism displayed above, ginger coons is actually one of the quietest students you will ever come across. However, she does turn out good work, and work very hard, most of the time.